В песне поется о реальных событиях, как автор застрял в узком лазе и оттуда выбирался.
The Ballad of Bastard Crawl
The Ballad of Bastard Crawl
Words and music by Adrian Duncan (with feeling!!)
If you ever head out to Cascade Cave
If yer not too big and yer head feels brave
Then check out the trickiest spot of all
That’s the passage known as Bastard Crawl!
Bastard Crawl, Bastard Crawl
It’s the trickiest bastard of them all!
If ya don’t like yer squeezes steep and small
Stay away from Bastard Crawl!!
There were four of the gang on a tourist trip
As we headed on down from the entry pit
Through chambers large and passages small
‘Till we came to the infamous Bastard Crawl
....................
Now it seemed to wear an evil grin
Saying, “Don’t be shy! Just come on in!!”
The slope was steep and the gap was small
I could see why they called it Bastard Crawl!
“Here goes!” sez I, and I dived on in
With the roof pressing hard against me skin
The friction helped to break the fall
Of the downward trip through Bastard
Crawl
....................
But the trip back up was a different game
As the cork in the bottle I soon became
I could make no upward move at all
I was good and stuck in Bastard Crawl!
Well, I wished I was sitting in a cozy pub
With a few good mates and a well-filled mug!
Which reminded me that to drink at all
I had to escape from Bastard Crawl
.......................
So I heaved away ‘gainst the Bastard’s pinch
With a big exhale, I gained an inch
And I knew I was in for a long, tough haul
As I fought the battle of Bastard Crawl!
But out of the crawl I finally burst
With wobbly legs and a raging thirst
A few choice words to the limestone wall
And I turned me back on Bastard Crawl
...................
Now Cascade Cave’s a very fine trip
But just be sure that you’re going to fit!
‘Cause believe me, it’s no fun at all
If you wind up stuck in Bastard Crawl!
